'Our family is just like any other.' Two dads celebrate Pride and Father's Day in one

Jun. 19—Couples often coordinate what they wear on their wedding day to have splashes of the same colors. Sometimes the flowers entwined in the bride's hair matches the groom's tie or the color of his vest compliments her jewelry.

For Mark Bayer and Mike Nichols, the colors they wore on their wedding day, Oct. 22, 2016, not only complimented one another, but they matched to perfection. Two gray suits, two blue vests and two blue ties waltzed down the aisle that day. The two men wearing them take pride in their love, and now they take pride in their whole household.

Bayer and Nichols have a lot to celebrate this month as June is not only Pride month, but includes Father's Day as well. With two sons and plenty of large dogs, this Georgetown County family has lots to celebrate this weekend.

"I have an amazing life," Bayer said. "That's why I am standing here, proud of my family and of my community. I just freaking love being a dad."

While some may see this family's dynamics as unusual, these two dads say that they live normal lives.

"Our family is just like any other," Bayer said. "There's nothing special about us. We're just two guys that are married.

"We believe in commitment, manners, we love being in the backyard with the dogs. ... Like any other, marriage is compromise, and we are big on communication. I think the hardest thing is that people fear or shy away from things they don't understand."

Bayer came out as gay in his late twenties, while Nichols came out a little earlier in his life.

"I came out when I was around 17 or 18," Nichols said. "Never thought I would be a dad, and it was really just because of experiences with my own dad. But I had to break that cycle of abuse and when Reece came along, it just all felt right."

A growing family with adopted son

They adopted 11-year-old Reece about three years ago. He says that his parents are not much different from his friends' parents.

"I also have a 26-year-old biological son. ... [Chris] has been apart of Mike's life since we met seven years ago," Bayer said.

Nichols and Bayer speak very highly of Chris, saying that he is a great older brother. Reece even said during the interview that he could not wait for it to be over so that he could go home and play with Chris.

"I thought I would never marry, much less have a kid, then Mark came along," Nichols said. "I work with [the Department of Social Services] and thought of those kids as sort of my kids at first."

Reece and Chris call Bayer "Dad" and Nichols "Daddy Mike." Names mean a lot in their household.

"We always told [Reece] it's important to be proud of your last name, so when the adoption went through, he took a combination of our last names.," Bayer said.

"One of Reece's classmates told their mom that Reece has two dads and that church says that's wrong, and she told me that she said, 'Our church also teaches us to judge others by their heart, and I know Mark and Mike, and I know that they are good people,'" Bayer said.

Pride in their LGBTQ+ community

"I was born and raised in the area, so I see how far we've come, but I thought we've come further than we really have," Bayer said. "I was pretty disappointed in Horry County, but I have enough pride and joy in my community. I just wish they would take pride in diversity."

Bayer was referring to when Horry County Council members recently rescinded a resolution to declare the month of June as Pride month, after just approving the resolution not long before.

"I am sure people make comments behind our backs," Bayer said. "I have heard comments every now and then, but around here, for the most part, people are very accepting."

Nichols and Bayer said the only difference — aside from there being two dads — between their family and most other families is that they do not adhere to gender roles in their home.

"I think the only big difference between our house and other houses is there's just really not like a gender role thing," Bayer said. "It's not like mom cleans the house, and dad mows the lawn. We share. We both do laundry. We both work in the yard. We both take care of the kids. ... [Reece] does cross country with the school, he does soccer, and we both show up to support our son."

When it comes to the color pink, which has traditionally been thought of as a feminine color, Reece said, "On Wednesdays, we wear pink," in reference to the 2004 film, "Mean Girls."

Growing up gay in conservative South Carolina

"Being born and raised in this area in a very conservative, religious family, growing up I started knowing where my attractions were, but I knew I really wanted to be a dad," Bayer said, "but I felt I couldn't fit those two together because I couldn't fit into society's little check boxes that say if you want to be a dad, you got to be straight."

"I went to a conversion therapy camp twice. I thought I was broken, so I am glad I am still here because it's not a choice. ... There are other people that are out there that are different and they are just (trying to) express themselves."

Bayer said that he hopes his struggles and successes can be "someone else's survival guide."

Reece said that if he could get anything for his dads for Father's Day, it would be to hire someone to clean the house for a day. He also said that his ideal day consists of playing board games, eating snacks and watching movies with his dads and older brother.

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