Moments and motherhood: Raising two sons, a mom recalls being a daughter

May 8—Moments. Memories. Motherhood.

Brooke Hendrickx needed just a few seconds Thursday afternoon to recall brief moments that became lasting memories of her mother — and influenced how she has raised her own sons.

Hendrickx, of Coal Valley, remembered being a young girl, 6, 7 or 8 years old, hustling at 7:15 a.m. to get ready for school in Colorado Springs, Colo. Her mother, Cheryl Akin, had two daughters and a son with her husband, Doug. Brooke was the oldest.

"My mom was busy. She worked in cosmetology. And, for a time, did hair out of our home, and she went to school to be a nurse. So I was the oldest and she was a busy mom," Hendrickx said. "But she was there, every morning, getting all of us ready for school.

"When I was little — like second grade and around then — she always took, maybe, five minutes to braid my hair. She did hair for a living. So she knew how to do French braids and all these fancy braids. Those were really special moments for me because I had my mom all to myself."

Akin left her job as the charge nurse of Genesis Health System's infusion center in Silvis later Thursday evening, and she recalled the sometimes-demanding and always-fleeting time with her oldest child.

"Oh my God, I loved it (braiding her hair)," Akin said. "She had the most beautiful hair, and she was gorgeous. And that was our special time.

"I think for her, it was the touch, the conversation, we had this moment where Brooke had my full attention. You hope to have those moments with your child, especially when you have more than one."

Today, Hendrickx is the director of development and communication for EveryChild. The Moline-based organization is dedicated to preventing all forms of child abuse, educating families on how to keep children safe as well as offering support services for children recovering from a wide array of traumas.

Like parents everywhere who want to spend time with their children, Hendrickx said finding time with her Zach, 15, and Josh, 13, can be challenging. She is dedicated to her work, while both boys play for travel teams in different sports.

She recalled special moments when she learned about each of her sons.

"Zach liked to be read to at night so I always tried to do that with him," Hendrickx said. "And he really liked to play with little figures, especially dinosaurs. We would sit and play dinosaurs together.

"I learned that those times were Zach's way of resetting after the day. He was decompressing. I really wanted to share that time with him. Zach is my literal, very supportive and positive, child."

Hendrickx smiled while recalling the memory. That smile stayed for the next one.

"Josh? Well, Josh is my builder," she recalled. "He could draw and paint and glue. There was a lot of glue. Zach liked to read books together. Josh liked to build his own books.

"The way Josh played showed me how he put things together. I had to plan an EveryChild event recently and I needed a seating chart. Josh put all of it together for me. There might be one way or another way to do something, but Josh sees the third way. He's my outside-the-box kid."

Hendrickx considered the past and the present, being a daughter and then a mother.

"Being a daughter, you expect your parents to connect with you, rather than putting in the effort to connect with them," she said. "Being a mom has taught me I still have a lot to learn.

"Being a mom is about finding ways to connect with your children and realizing there is a time when I am not their No. 1 priority. So the key is communicating. Sometimes it's something like explaining to a child that there are times when I might feel overwhelmed. That helps with worry and guilt. You learn things together with your child."

Like daughter, like mother. Akin laughed as she found a memory.

"Oh, one thing I do remember is a time we were working on some problem. Brooke must have been 13. And she was mad at me," Akin said. "I remember I told her, 'Brooke, this is the first time I've been a mother to a 13-year-old.'

"Brooke was my first. You both learn, mother and child. She taught me a lot. We taught each other."

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