Getting Help: Safety Plan

By: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

If you are still in the relationship:

Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
Keep change with you at all times.
Memorize all important numbers.
Establish a "code word" or "sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
Think about what you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.
Remember, you have the right to live without fear and violence.

If you have left the relationship:

Change your phone number.
Screen calls.
Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
Change locks, if the batterer has a key.
Avoid staying alone.
Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
Vary your routine.
Notify school and work contacts.
Call a shelter for battered women.

If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.

Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2's), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)

GETTING HELP – MY PERSONAL SAFETY PLAN

The following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect myself in case of further abuse.

Although I can't control my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to safety. I will decide for myself if and when I will tell others that I have been abused, or that I am still at risk. Friends, family and co-workers can help protect me, if they know what is happening, and what they can do to help.

To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:

1. When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can:

__________________________

2. When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can:

__________________________

3. I will make up a "code word" for my family, co-workers, or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is:

__________________________

4. When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as:

__________________________

or (at work):

__________________________

or:

__________________________

(at home) (in public)

__________________________

5. I can tell my family, co-workers, boss, or a friend about my situation. I feel safe telling:

__________________________

6. I can use an answering machine or ask my co-workers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors. I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls. I can ask:

__________________________

to help screen (home) (work) my phone calls.

7. I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times. I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.

friend:

relative:

co-worker:

counselor:

shelter:

other:

8. When leaving work I can:

__________________________

9. When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can:

__________________________

10. I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are held:

at: